Best Things I Found This Week: Kanye vs. Bob Ezrin

The biggest name in the news this week was Bob Ezrin. This previously-unheard-of producer (I assume some people have heard of him as he is apparently a high-profile rock producer but that’s not important) was obliterated on Twitter by the one and only Yeezus Christ after posting mean (and incidentally, simply incorrect) things about Kanye’s work on some blog.* I won’t get into the specifics of all the ways in which Bob Ezrin’s comments were ill-informed and idiotic, but I will get into the specifics of the reactions that ensued.

First, we all had to find out who this mysterious Bob Ezrin villain was:

Shortly after the rant, “Bob Ezrin” was trending on twitter because inquiring minds want to know.

The aftermath was extensive. People immediately hopped on Bob Ezrin’s wikipedia page to record his death and do general trolling. Pigeons and Planes recorded the updates chronologically.

We also learned of a new way to get our hands on some Yeezys:

These tweets naturally led to many folks begging Bob Ezrin to adopt them and making false claims that they were his children. Hey, it’s worth a shot. And just when we thought it couldn’t get any better, someone claiming to be Bob Ezrin’s actual child chimed in:

Genius also chimed in with an annotated version of Bob Ezrin’s article, highlighting the fact that Bob Ezrin actually admitted that he hasn’t even listened to “The Life of Pablo” yet.

In short, Bob Ezrin just proved to everyone (as if we didn’t already know), that you can try to take down Kanye, but just like Beyonce, he is beyond criticism.

And of course, let’s not forget that Kanye also included some excellent shade on she-who-shall-not-be-named in the rant as well:

Here’s to Bob Ezrin and Taylor Swift being chosen for that Mars expedition and never returning to earth.




*After exploring said blog a bit more and finding a post defending noted sexual abuser Dr. Luke, I have dismissed it as utter fallacy and obviously severely mis-informed in all ways.


#tbt: Top 15 Reasons Lil Wayne Should Not Go To Jail

In March 2010, Dwayne Michael Carter, jr., colloquially known as Lil Wayne, Weezy F Baby, or Tunechi, began a jail sentence at Riker’s Island for attempted criminal possession of a weapon.*

This was a pretty traumatizing time for my beloved Comrade-in-Weezy Fandom, Megan, and me. To cope, we put together a list of the top fifteen reasons we felt it was wrong for Lil Wayne to go to jail which was later published in our school newspaper, the Pio Log. In the spirit of #throwbackthursday, here is the list, in its original glory: Continue reading

#tbt: Car Alarms

Last night I had the true privilege of being awakened from my slumber at 4:05 am to the harmonious honking of a car alarm. This abrasive racket continued, on and off, for an unnecessarily long time, preventing me (and probably every living thing within a three mile radius of the vehicle) from sleeping as well as causing stress, anger, and general discomfort.

As I lay awake listening to the frightful din, I remembered another harrowing experience I had with a car alarm many moons ago. In the spirit of Throwback Thursday, I will share it with all of you today. 

It all began on brisk fall day at my dear alma mater, Lewis & Clark College. As students at this environment-loving institution were discouraged to have cars on campus, the school provided a car share system where you could reserve either a Ford Focus, a Prius, or – brace yourselves – a Nissan Cube. The Focus and the Prius were all well and good and I frequently used them for off-campus expeditions. However, the Nissan Cube was a whole other ball game. For those lucky enough to have never seen a Nissan Cube, let me enlighten you:

A picture is worth 1,000 words, so I’ll just provide you with ten more: THE NISSAN CUBE IS THE UGLIEST CAR IN THE WORLD. Continue reading

Dad Joke of the Day: 10/6

What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful means it breaks the law; illegal is a sick bird.

(Hint: say it out loud.)

This gem of a joke is courtesy of tonight’s employment law professor at St. Thomas, where I’m taking a nonprofit management mini-MBA course. Employment law was actually surprisingly turnt up, thanks to the aforementioned joke, a very strong Minnesoooootan accent, and various other hilarities that ensued.