— Jerry Bird (@BostonJerry) March 10, 2016
The biggest name in the news this week was Bob Ezrin. This previously-unheard-of producer (I assume some people have heard of him as he is apparently a high-profile rock producer but that’s not important) was obliterated on Twitter by the one and only Yeezus Christ after posting mean (and incidentally, simply incorrect) things about Kanye’s work on some blog.* I won’t get into the specifics of all the ways in which Bob Ezrin’s comments were ill-informed and idiotic, but I will get into the specifics of the reactions that ensued.
First, we all had to find out who this mysterious Bob Ezrin villain was:
Shortly after the rant, “Bob Ezrin” was trending on twitter because inquiring minds want to know.
The aftermath was extensive. People immediately hopped on Bob Ezrin’s wikipedia page to record his death and do general trolling. Pigeons and Planes recorded the updates chronologically.
We also learned of a new way to get our hands on some Yeezys:
These tweets naturally led to many folks begging Bob Ezrin to adopt them and making false claims that they were his children. Hey, it’s worth a shot. And just when we thought it couldn’t get any better, someone claiming to be Bob Ezrin’s actual child chimed in:
Genius also chimed in with an annotated version of Bob Ezrin’s article, highlighting the fact that Bob Ezrin actually admitted that he hasn’t even listened to “The Life of Pablo” yet.
In short, Bob Ezrin just proved to everyone (as if we didn’t already know), that you can try to take down Kanye, but just like Beyonce, he is beyond criticism.
And of course, let’s not forget that Kanye also included some excellent shade on she-who-shall-not-be-named in the rant as well:
Here’s to Bob Ezrin and Taylor Swift being chosen for that Mars expedition and never returning to earth.
*After exploring said blog a bit more and finding a post defending noted sexual abuser Dr. Luke, I have dismissed it as utter fallacy and obviously severely mis-informed in all ways.
This week was the Week of Yeezy. Kanye was causing a ruckus everywhere. Read on for my favorite Kanye-related things I found on the internet this week and a few other randos for good measure.
First of all, this gif. I will never need another gif.
Second of all, you may have thought the Hotline Bling memes and tributes had ended. NOT SO! Here is Jimmy Fallon as Bob Dylan covering Drake and it’s perfect.
Maybe I’m going overboard with my love of DJ Khaled’s snapchat story, but it really never gets old. If you’re nervous you might miss one of his ever important Keys to Success, fear not: this website provides an endless list of all the keys.
Last Tuesday, the world freaked out over this Big Question:
If you’re wondering what the answer is, Jezebel can help.
The biggest news on the internet this week was DJ Khaled’s jet ski adventure on Monday night. After paying neighbor Rick Ross a lunchtime visit, DJ Khaled got lost while returning to his house and found himself floating at sea in the dark. (It must have been a relatively late lunch.) As we have come to expect from this national treasure, Khaled documented the entire ordeal via Snapchat and it’s definitely worth a watch.
Happy Friday! Here are the best things I found on the internet this week.
A while back, a small monkey made headlines when he cavorted around an Ikea in Canada wearing a tiny shearling coat. If you’re like me, you often re-watch the magnificent video and ponder what may have happened to this amazing creature. Ponder no more – Vice, America’s best news source (that’s not sarcasm), brings us the story.
In honor of Black Friday, this national treasure created fake weekly Target ads and hung them up over the real ones in a Target store. Truly brilliant stuff.
This one might officially be from last week, but I forgot to include it. This poor man was given a GoPro for his trip to LA, but instead of filming his trip he filmed a selfie the entire time. I feel like there’s a solid chance he did it all on purpose for the sake of humor, but either way, it’s good stuff.
The Broadway musical “Hamilton” has been gaining popularity and generating much buzz recently. In that spirit, I present to you PerezHamilton, a truly excellent tumblr that parodies both Perez Hilton and the 1770s.