How to Drink Kombucha Like a Pro

This post is for all those people out there who enjoy the taste and apparent healthfulness of kombucha, but despise the feeling of slimy fungus (sorry, enzymes and probiotics) sliding through your mouth as you drink it. Read on for the ultimate guide to drinking kombucha without the unpleasant sensation that you’ve just licked Harry Potter’s troll bogey-covered wand in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Image via Spider Web Art

(Note: this is not a guide to choosing which type of kombucha to drink; it is simply designed to guide you through the act of drinking it. I’ve only ever had one brand of kombucha and, as such, would hardly consider myself a connoisseur.)

For those who are unfamiliar with this unconventional beverage, kombucha – as I understand it – is a fermented drink made from mystery ingredients. I kid you not, the list of ingredients is literally just “organic raw kombucha and 100% pure love!!!” This mysterious beverage has a lovely tangy flavor and sometimes has other flavors like fruit or ginger added. As it is a fermented beverage containing live cultures and enzymes, it also contains a great amount of what can only be referred to as sludge hanging out in the bottom of the bottle.

To some, this sludge is where all the health is and it is an essential part of kombucha. To me, it is a disgusting barrier to enjoying a perfectly tasty beverage. Thus, I have created this handy guide to drinking kombucha sans sludge.

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  1. Open your bottle of kombucha. Make sure you haven’t shaken it, because it is slightly carbonated.
  2. Begin to pour the kombucha slowly into a large cup.
  3. Once you see strands of sludge peeking over the edge of the bottle, stop pouring!
  4. Dump the rest down the sink. (It shouldn’t be more than a centimeter or so left in the bottle.)
  5. Rinse the bottle well.
  6. Pour the kombucha from your glass back into the bottle, and drink up!

Easy as pie! You can even drink your kombucha out of the cup if you want, taking out 2 of the steps!

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